it's just been that week.

Ever had one of those weeks that progressively gets worse and worse as the week goes on to the point of tears? Yeah...me too.

It's ultimately my fault. A classic case of stretching myself way too thin. I haven't gotten much sleep, I've fought with the boyfriend, worked too much and made no money, and not to mention actually cried. Me....crying. It never happens so that just tells you how great it's been. I suppose there's no use dwelling on the misery that happened. I should probably just let it go and hope that this next week turns out much better. Hopefully a week with more sleep, less stress, less fighting and ZERO crying. That's my wish for this next week. A less stressful, easier to manage week.

With Thanksgiving over, I suppose it's finally time to start focusing on the next holiday. CHRISTMAS. Oh the thoughts of consumerism and holiday shopping thrill me....not. People get way too intense over Christmas gifts. Giving gifts is great....it really is. I LOVE buying gifts for my friends, but at the same time actually going out to the mall or target or walmart just gets way too crazy for me. I mean holiday shopping kicks off on Black Friday. The day of "super savings" long lines and crabby shoppers and workers. I'm glad to say I didn't participate in Black Friday shopping this year. I just don't feel like it was worth the stress to me. Large groups of crazy coupon clippers fighting over the last of the 14 inch HD tv that's going to break in a year just don't appeal to me. It actually tends to give me a little bit of anxiety. When I was younger I lived for Black Friday shopping. It was tradition. Now I just can't do it. Maybe it's because I've been on the working end of the Black Friday spectrum in both retail and now the restaurant industry. From a retail stand point you have the needy customers that take out their aggression on you because you can some how control not having their size in a $50 sweater at a completely different store in the mall. From the restaurant stand point you have the people that spent far too much money on the massive Black Friday bargains and don't tip anything. Whatever way you spin it, it's lame and I'm kind of over it. I'm over you Black Friday. You just aren't worth my time.

By now I'm sure you've realized that my thoughts never seem to coherently flow together. It's kind of just random paragraphs put together in one post. Believe it or not ladies and gentleman, that's actually how my brain works. Jumping from one pointless topic to the next. It's great to be me sometimes....

So let's talk about jealousy for a second. Could someone please explain to me the point of it? I mean ok...everyone wants a little jealousy in a relationship, whether they will admit it or not. Everyone wants to know that the person they're with know's they're lucky to have that other person. It's just that over load of possessive, jealous rage that is so not cool. When that person tells you who you can and can't talk to....not ok sir. Especially when it's a double standard. It's those dang double standards....every relationship has them and they suck. If it's ok for you to tell me who I can talk to then it's ok for me to tell you who you can talk to or who you can hang out with right? Yeah that's what I thought. Needless to say, this may have caused a huge fight between my boyfriend and I. It hasn't really been resolved yet. Don't really know when it's going to be but I suppose until it is I'm just not going to talk to anyone. Kind of just slip in to hiding and ignore the world. Sometimes I wish I were financially able to just do that. To just call off a couple days of work and fly somewhere to see some friends or just escape to a city where I don't know anyone and just explore. Sometimes I just wish I could take a little me time. Maybe that's me wanting to run away from my problems instead of just facing them like an adult. Say what you will, I don't care. The thought of just leaving for a few days to clear my head just sounds like a wonderful idea. Too bad I'm working another 35 hours this week and have a broken car and zero money to call my own. If only money really did grow on trees....maybe I'll work to invent that. A money tree. Then I'll be rich forever.

I feel like these days I'm a quote machine. I'm finding them in the weirdest ways....youtube videos, fiction novels, movies, ridiculous friends. The unfortunate thing about it though is I hear all these great quotes but like a genius, I forget to write them down.

You know its really shocking...I have all this free time yet I still manage to accomplish.....nothing. One the upside I have been accepted to school and I've successfully send them my FAFSA but I have yet to register for classes which I'm pretty sure is the whole point of school. I just would love to fast forward all the boring stuff and have it actually done. That was the great thing about IWU. They literally had everything mapped out for you. There was a list of every class you needed to take and what semester to take them. There was really no thinking involved, kind of awesome...but it kind of screwed me in the whole having to do things for myself aspect. Guess I'm going to have to learn then.

On a side note it's basically Christmas and I've already bought my boyfriend his present and it's AWESOME. So awesome. I mean really I went above and beyond what I probably should have done seeing as we've only been together for like 3 months and 2 of those months we weren't even dating, but I truly wanted him to have what I got him. For being a huge football fan he's NEVER been to a professional game so I'm taking him to the Browns Steelers game! They're 4th row seats....amazing. So excited and I hope he opts to take me. I mean, if he wants to take his best friend I won't be super offended....anyone else though I'll be pissed. He's a pretty awesome guy though so I wanted to get him something great and I feel like I did. He goes with me to Harry Potter at midnight, I reward him with amazing football tickets :)

Oh My Boys....

Mmmmm. looooove Michael Buble. Seriously, if I could I would marry him. That smooth voice, his charming smile and oh how beautiful he looks in suits. Michael Buble, I love you. Give up that inevitably beautiful model you're with and take a chance on a quirky half-asian from Toledo....

Ok ok....enough with the fantasizing. Back to reality. Reality lately seems to include lots of missing the life I once had. I wish I could be back in Indiana sometimes. Those boys are seriously so special to me. I tend to play favorites sometimes but in all reality, Brock, Russ, and Ryne you're all on an equal playing field. Brock, you were the friend when I needed one the most. Right after the break up you took me in to your inner circle. You say it's only because you wanted an Asian friend but I truly think you enjoy my company no matter how much you want to deny it and as much as I'd like to deny it....even though on most occasions you make me crazy, I'm glad we're friends. Russell Cade. My second favorite....you by far give the best hugs. You know how to make a lady feel special and while for a split second I could call you "mine" in the end you deserve a special lady. Someone much more special than me and you know that. You and your constant witty comments and movie chatter always keeps me entertained and when I really need it, you listen to my incessant whining and pouting. I'm sure you claim it's because you have no choice but deep deep deep down I know you care. I know I know, you're a robot....or Spock, but I know you have feelings somewhere in there. And Ryne Ryne Ryne. My eternal favorite. My emo little friend. How I enjoy your company. I never run out of things to talk about with you. You know every detail of every romantic relationship I ever had and at the end of each one you remind me that I need to stop dating douches. Only time will tell if I've broken that habit with this one....so far all signs point to maybe. You make me laugh with your deeply seeded sarcasm and your stories of dunhams or the latest moron you've encountered. Basically you're awesome or even better, you ARE batman. I guess the moral of the story is I miss you boys. The whole three hours away thing sucks pretty bad. I could use some Indiana hugging these days. And some bonfires. And oh my Lord a Wildcat crispy chicken with BBQ sauce. That may be the only thing I miss more than you three. Looks like a road trip is in order....if not for you boys then DEFINITELY for the crispy chicken. I think I should make that happen.