I'm spending a lot of time alone and I'm slowly beginning to feel myself just pull away from people. I spend my life currently living in books, imagining this far off life someone else is living. It's not like reading is a bad thing, it's actually my favorite thing. For some reason though, the more time I spend in books, the more I feel myself drifting away from people. Now I suppose it isn't entirely fair to strictly blame books because let's be honest, busy schedules play a huge role in it as well. I'm finding myself just drifting through this "actual" reality basically counting down the hours until I can return to my fictional worlds with these heroic women that I'll never in a million years be. While it's kind of depressing, it's also kind of amazing. Books are definitely my anti-drug...or I suppose it could probably be phrased that books are my drug but in my mind I'd argue it's a good drug to be hooked on....
On a more random note, I don't understand why people cannot mind their own business, especially when it pertains to who I choose to spend my time with or talk to. I think it needs to be said that just because I speak on a regular basis with someone of the opposite sex, it doesn't mean that my relationship is going to crumble. It's not a reason to go up to someone and tell them to "not talk to girls that are already taken" because that just shows not only a complete disregard for my character but also an extremely childish view on friendships. Boys no longer have cooties. It's socially acceptable for guys and girls to be friends. Especially for someone like me who not only does not get along with girls, but also is in a major dominated by males. All my classmates are boys so yes we spend time studying together or heaven forbid, text each other! I must be a horrible girlfriend because I talk to boys that aren't my boyfriend. Naturally, every guy I come across must be working to destroy my relationship. AAAANNNNNND end rant. Sorry folks, but people that meddle really grind my gears. Especially when they don't know what they're talking about.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Let's Play Catch-up
Well, as we've seen I'm either a terrible blogger or I lead a boring, redundant life. My conclusion is it's a little bit of both but alas, here I am again with a life decision or problem or rant to indulge you all with. The problem is not necessarily one BIG problem, but instead a bunch of little random problems that are scattered throughout my life. From friendships to work, I'm constantly faced with decisions that don't seem that significant but add up to big things. Oh where to begin....
Let's start with work. I'm a server and it's decent money and a pretty easy job. The hardest part though? my co-workers. OH.MY.GOODNESS. Never in my life have I been surrounded by so many irresponsible, gossipy, and childish adults. Day after day I'm forced to deal with not only difficult tables, but even more difficult co-workers. Now they all aren't bad, but it's the few bad apples that ruin the bunch. In my mind I know I should be the bigger person, show God's love, or just be a better person than they are but most days I feel like I just can't do it. I'm no longer the bubbly, happy girl at work anymore. Now I'm the girl that's quiet, sullen, and most shifts, solitary. I'm there to do my job....not make friends which brings me to my next rant....
Friendship. One simple word with a series of complicated definitions. There isn't really one true way to define friendship. For some friendships it's defined by the number of times you spend time with someone. For other's it's being able to pick up right where you left off after not seeing each other for months. It's also something that's the basis of a number of other relationships whether it's a mother-daughter relationship, a sister relationship, or a romantic relationship. What happens when friendship ceases to exist in one of those relationships, particularly a romantic relationship. Have they miraculously surpassed into this upper level boyfriend/girlfriend relationship where they no longer need friendship and it's just assumed that the friendship is still there? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
Now on to school. This is the one area of my life that is actually going very well. I've made the Deans list for the past two semesters which is a huge accomplishment for me, especially compared to high school and first couple years of college. I'm chalking it up to I'm finally doing something I love to do and taking classes I enjoy. Someday I'm hoping that I'll make as big of an impact on my students as my past teachers have. One of them is retiring at the end of the year and there isn't anything in the world that will keep me from attending her retirement party. She was a wonderful woman, full of wisdom and patience which she definitely needed for my class. She's the reason I ended up in education and a teacher I plan to model in my future classroom.
Well folks, that's all I really feel like sharing tonight but I feel like until I get my life figured out and my questions answered I'll be here...writing my feelings and over-sharing on the interwebs like a fourteen year old.
Let's start with work. I'm a server and it's decent money and a pretty easy job. The hardest part though? my co-workers. OH.MY.GOODNESS. Never in my life have I been surrounded by so many irresponsible, gossipy, and childish adults. Day after day I'm forced to deal with not only difficult tables, but even more difficult co-workers. Now they all aren't bad, but it's the few bad apples that ruin the bunch. In my mind I know I should be the bigger person, show God's love, or just be a better person than they are but most days I feel like I just can't do it. I'm no longer the bubbly, happy girl at work anymore. Now I'm the girl that's quiet, sullen, and most shifts, solitary. I'm there to do my job....not make friends which brings me to my next rant....
Friendship. One simple word with a series of complicated definitions. There isn't really one true way to define friendship. For some friendships it's defined by the number of times you spend time with someone. For other's it's being able to pick up right where you left off after not seeing each other for months. It's also something that's the basis of a number of other relationships whether it's a mother-daughter relationship, a sister relationship, or a romantic relationship. What happens when friendship ceases to exist in one of those relationships, particularly a romantic relationship. Have they miraculously surpassed into this upper level boyfriend/girlfriend relationship where they no longer need friendship and it's just assumed that the friendship is still there? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
Now on to school. This is the one area of my life that is actually going very well. I've made the Deans list for the past two semesters which is a huge accomplishment for me, especially compared to high school and first couple years of college. I'm chalking it up to I'm finally doing something I love to do and taking classes I enjoy. Someday I'm hoping that I'll make as big of an impact on my students as my past teachers have. One of them is retiring at the end of the year and there isn't anything in the world that will keep me from attending her retirement party. She was a wonderful woman, full of wisdom and patience which she definitely needed for my class. She's the reason I ended up in education and a teacher I plan to model in my future classroom.
Well folks, that's all I really feel like sharing tonight but I feel like until I get my life figured out and my questions answered I'll be here...writing my feelings and over-sharing on the interwebs like a fourteen year old.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Clearly my lack of posting is probably beneficial for all of you "readers" that I'm almost positive do not exist.
Here's my life in bullet list form, because frankly that's all I have time for. Maybe I'll come back and give a more detailed description someday but for now you're just going to have to settle for my list.
- School
- Work
- Boyfriend
- and somewhere in there I eat, sleep, do homework, and on occasion see my dwindling list of friends.
Life is definitely not what I thought it would be, but I don't know if I've ever been more content with the people in my life as I am these days. Contentment is kind of awesome I must say.
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