Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
There is a phrase that I've recently used quite a bit. "I do what I want." The perfectly fitting phrase for a stubborn little booger head like myself. However, I have to think...how often has doing what I wanted gotten me into trouble? I mean seriously...lets think about this. I thought I knew what was best for me when I decided to go to the University of Toledo. Within the first couple days,I hated college. Now had I taken the right approach...maybe things wouldn't have happened that way. Maybe I would've gone away to school right away. Now of course God definitely has a way of bringing you to the right place that he has for you but then again I have to wonder how differently things would've been had I actually looking in to different school options. I wonder how many other aspects of my life would have been affected? Don't get me wrong...I'm pretty happy at the place in life God has me, but then again I apparently enjoy playing the "what-if" game.
- What if I took the right approach to choosing a school.
- What if I would've listened to my sister, best friends, and practically everyone else when it came to my love life.
- What if I actually battled against my stubborn habit and did what someone else wanted me to do?
See...now that's where the dilemma is. I can't spend my whole life doing what everyone else wants me to do. What kind of a life would that be anyway? Constantly living to please other people when in reality...who cares about their opinion. It's not like in the end their opinions are the ones that will really matter. Which brings me back to the verses. I read these verses on my friends xanga after she found out her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and I immediately wrote them down. They're pinned on my board along with a couple others I like to remember. God's plans are way bigger and way better than my plans. My plans are bland compared to his. I get to a point where I think "well ok God...things are going pretty well...I can take it from here..." and then like a slap in the face something bad happens and I go running back with my metophorical tail between my legs. It's a constant cycle. Now heres another question. WHY AM I SO RETARDED? I mean honestly...God has the perfect plan for my life and I have the audactiy to think that I can do better? How messed up is that. Here's my thinking and realize it's almost 2 o'clock in the morning so don't hold your breath for anything too earth-shattering. This is me after all...but here's my thought. Stubborness is kind of a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing when the thing your stubborn about is good. For example, I'm stubborn to the point that no matter what anyone tries to convince me...I will not stop believing in God. See..good stubborness. Now its bad when I'm stubborn enough to think that I can run my life better than someone who has proven over and over and over again that is plan is unbelievably better. I mean this is the God that planned out the lives of King David, Daniel, Esther, Paul...etc. When they followed God's plan for them, they were used in so many ways. When they tried things their own way...down the pooper they went. I'm kind of sick of being in the pooper. It's really no fun there. So here's my thinking...how about I keep the good stubborness...and lose the bad? Sound good? Why yes...yes it does. Sound easy? Well...yeah I guess a little. Will it be? HECK NO... but I'm going to try really really REALLY hard.
