or never die...

There's the old adage, old habits die hard. Well I think there needs to be an extended version of that. Old habits die hard...or they just plain NEVER DIE. Not exactly an optimistic though I know but it seems like every old habit I have just won't die. I've tried everything and for a while it works. For a while things are under control then something sneaks past my defenses and BAM! I'm a mess once again. I don't understand why things just need to be so difficult.

As a female is it okay to just write something off because you're a female and that's just what you're "supposed" to do? For example, someone just up and stops talking to you when they've talked to you for a regular basis everyday for a good portion of the day. It's completely normal for girls to over analyze the situation, freak out, and then become a crazy mess. I have to say I'm ashamed that this happened to me. I don't like that I freaked out. I don't like that I reacted the way that every other girl would. I'm not every other girl. I don't want to be every other girl.

God, you've been patient with me through all my screw ups. I ask that you'll be patient with me through this one too. You know what's going to happen in my life and I shouldn't worry about it. Ultimately, you are in control of every situation and you love me and will take care of me. I pray that I'll ALWAYS remember that!