just a little rant.

It seems like all the relationships in my life have just shifted in the past few weeks. People that I talked to everyday have fallen off the face of the planet and people that I haven't heard from in years have been blowing up my phone. It's a strange place to be. I'm not sure if I like it....

I can't really say that I have much to talk about right now. There are plenty of things I could whine about but I'm pretty sure it won't solve anything. I have had a lot on my mind though, especially when it comes to my faith and what I believe. A lot of it has to do with do I actually believe this? or is this just what I've been taught my whole life and it's easier to go with the flow than try and stick up for what I think? I'm not quite sure what I believe anymore. Hold on, let me rephrase that so people don't think I'm offering up animal sacrifices in the backyard. I'm 100% a Christian. I believe that I am a fallen human and a sinner and that I've been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ who was the ultimate sacrifice and that by asking him to forgive me of my sins I will spend eternity with him in heaven. It's the fine points of Christianity that I'm struggling to deal with. Topics mainly having to do with the church and how they approach things and just what being a Christian means -vs- what Christians actually do. Now don't get me wrong I get that we're human. I get that we will never in a million years be perfect. So why is it that most Christians act like they're perfect and flawless? Why can't they just be open and honest with their flaws? Why do they have to hide them and point out mine? Yeah, so I swear from time to time and I've said plenty of things that I shouldn't have. You weren't there later that night when I confessed my wrong doings to God. You weren't there when I seeked his forgiveness. You don't know me, my life, or my situation and you make NO attempts to try to understand me. Don't judge me. You are not my pastor. You are not my friend. You are just someone who thinks they know my life and wants to drag the bones out of my closet so no one goes peeking around in yours. Jokes on you though. My life is pretty much an open book. So feel free to pass your judgement but at the end of the day God is my judge. Not you....so go find something better to talk about.