its a lyrical post...

Up and Up - Relient K
Yesterday is not quite what it could've been
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today with every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more

Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history of what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see (what you see)
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is
Where I'll be

Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
I know I'm capable of
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me for you

I truly love Relient K. Not only is there music catchy and enjoyable but it also reminds me of what i'm supposed to be doing. I have a lot of changing to do. I have a lot of growing up to do. The longer I focus on the past the harder it will be for those changes to occur. I have love and lost. I have made terrible decisions. I have made wonderful friends. I have been blessed beyond all compare.

the strain of packing...

It is a never ending process. I have far too much clothing and far too much everything. Trying to "pack the essentials" is basically nearly impossible.

So I almost started crying in church today. I have been at that church my entire life. I was born into Emmanuel Baptist. I've seen the highs, I've seen the lows. I have seen preachers come and go and I love that church. Sitting there this morning listening to Pastor Snyder knowing that it's my last time to regularly attend with my family was just so.....weird. It was just a lot to take in at once. Next Sunday I will be in Indiana. Here goes nothing.

Reach for the Stars...

One Week!
One week and I am out of Toledo. Out of my comfort zone. Out of the drama! I can hardly contain my excitement! I can't wait to meet new people, make new friends, and just be independent. There is still so much to do and so many people to bid adieu. I'll miss my friends but it seems like God is just letting certain people get under my skin to make it easier to transition. It seems like he's just put a lot of circumstances in my way to kind of make it easier to just break away. He's also been answering so many prayers! My financial aid has come through and my first year is paid for! He's also provided a way for me to get all of my dorm supplies and school supplies through the help of my dad. I just feel like for once it is where I'm supposed to be. I feel like I'm actually listening to God's calling and with His help it'll be a snap. I'm so thankful I have a loving God that directs my life!

And i have returned. This seem much more "accomplished" than silly old xanga. 9 days is that i have left before i leave all that i know and all that i am comfortable with and set off to become the person i'm supposed to be. well this should be entertaining.

Words of Wisdom

"don't surround yourself with the people who are just fun. surround yourself with people who love God enough to love you enough to hurt you. as you know and will soon know better, not everyone there wants to follow Christ...in fact, most will not. so find the people who love God enough to love you enough to hurt you when you need it." - Caleb McClarren

This is the best piece of advice I've gotten so far about going away to school. Knowing that next year I'm going to have to make all new friends and form all new relationships is really starting to be overwhelming for me. I love my friends here and I haven't been without most of them for longer than a week. Now I'm going to be 3 hours away where I'll be experiencing new things, meeting new people, taking a much harder curriculum in comparison to UT. I don't know how much time I'll have to phone home and I know the relationships that I've formed here are going to change. So when I do something really stupid I'm going to need someone to tell me it was stupid. Oay...I'm going to need to find a new Gretchen and a new Alicia and a new Chelsea. That my friends is going to be impossible. What am I going to do?!

Happy 4th!

Happy 4th of July everybody!

I love the 4th of July. I don't know if its because of the bbq's or the watermelon, or the fireworks but i love the 4th! Typically by this time every year I'm walking around Whitehouse with Libby pondering love, life, and the future. However, this year I'm forced to do things differently. For starters, Libby is in Mexico on a missions trip, not here to talk with. Secondly, I'm not going to Whitehouse for the usual barbeque, I'll be in Bowling Green just for fireworks. Thirdly, I don't have a boy to go with. Now I know this sounds incredibly petty but for the past five 4th of July's I've had a boy to cuddle with under the fireworks making for incredibly romantic moments. This year...nada. No one for Chelsea. But maybe this is a good thing? Tonight, it'll be just me with my sister and brother-in-law. Should prove to be an interesting night :)

It seems that I can't seem to let things settle. As much as I'd like to I have a tendency to make really stupid decisions. Tonight, although it wasn't a stupid decision, it was one that is going to well...complicate things. Why is it that patience is so hard sometimes? Why can't I just be happy with the way things are? Well, what's done is done. There's nothing left to say about it other than it's going to be a bumpy ride. But will he go with me?