IWU

well here I sit! I'm all moved in and it is wonderful! I've met some really cool people...most of them being male but really this is me we're talking to. Why should anyone be surprised? lol

It's funny how God works. I was kind of nervous about this whole moving out and being alone thing. Don't get me wrong I was crazy excited but still nervous. So I come into my dorm to get my key and who do I see but Heather Moline! Not only is she in my dorm. She is my neighbor. Her room is right next to mine! It's just so nice to see a familiar face especially when its right next door! Needless to say I think it's going to be a great year! Things have kind of gotten off to a little bit of a rocky start..but now that my internet finally seems to be cooperating (knock on wood) I'm hoping that I'll be able to catch up with some people back home! yay for growing up and being in school! lol

leaving on a jet plane...

Well here I sit at 1:48 in the morning (according to my computer). I need to sleep so badly tomorrow....err well today is going to be an extremely long day! Today is my last day in Toledo. I have to not only finish packing, but manage to say goodbye to all my friends and family. Maybe even get my nose pierced? I am so ready to start this new phase in life, but I am so nervous at the same time! What if nobody likes me. What if I don't get along with anyone! Now I know these fears are completely ridiculous because one person is atleast bound to like me but still. I feel like it's the first day of kindergarten and in order to make friends I'll have to share my juice box or trade the popular girl my nutter bar for her squishy pear. Nice analagy right? I do have to say though I cannot stay in Toledo much longer. There is far too much drama that I simply don't have the energy to deal with! Everyone seems to believe in me. Everyone says they will be praying for me. Now it's time for me to suck it up. Buck up. and be the big girl I know I'm supposed to become!

its a lyrical post...

Up and Up - Relient K
Yesterday is not quite what it could've been
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today with every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more

Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history of what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see (what you see)
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is
Where I'll be

Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
I know I'm capable of
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me for you

I truly love Relient K. Not only is there music catchy and enjoyable but it also reminds me of what i'm supposed to be doing. I have a lot of changing to do. I have a lot of growing up to do. The longer I focus on the past the harder it will be for those changes to occur. I have love and lost. I have made terrible decisions. I have made wonderful friends. I have been blessed beyond all compare.

the strain of packing...

It is a never ending process. I have far too much clothing and far too much everything. Trying to "pack the essentials" is basically nearly impossible.

So I almost started crying in church today. I have been at that church my entire life. I was born into Emmanuel Baptist. I've seen the highs, I've seen the lows. I have seen preachers come and go and I love that church. Sitting there this morning listening to Pastor Snyder knowing that it's my last time to regularly attend with my family was just so.....weird. It was just a lot to take in at once. Next Sunday I will be in Indiana. Here goes nothing.

Reach for the Stars...

One Week!
One week and I am out of Toledo. Out of my comfort zone. Out of the drama! I can hardly contain my excitement! I can't wait to meet new people, make new friends, and just be independent. There is still so much to do and so many people to bid adieu. I'll miss my friends but it seems like God is just letting certain people get under my skin to make it easier to transition. It seems like he's just put a lot of circumstances in my way to kind of make it easier to just break away. He's also been answering so many prayers! My financial aid has come through and my first year is paid for! He's also provided a way for me to get all of my dorm supplies and school supplies through the help of my dad. I just feel like for once it is where I'm supposed to be. I feel like I'm actually listening to God's calling and with His help it'll be a snap. I'm so thankful I have a loving God that directs my life!

And i have returned. This seem much more "accomplished" than silly old xanga. 9 days is that i have left before i leave all that i know and all that i am comfortable with and set off to become the person i'm supposed to be. well this should be entertaining.