Love...

1 John 4:18

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

"Love is patient, love is kind. it does not evny, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love Never Fails."

I have such a skewed view of love. Basically what it comes down to is...I'm not loving the way I should be. I'm honestly doubting that love can make it through anything. I'm not refering to perfect love, I'm refering to the love that I have. I doubt it can keep things together and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to reach a perfect love. I'm not saying its impossible, but I'm just not sure. I've got so many other things going on inside myself. Fear is a big part of it...and I know what I'm being punished for. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm trying..I'm struggling..I'm crying...still. Taking everything one day at a time is basically how this is going to have to work, but what I think it comes down to is this....I don't really love you and I'm still struggling to think that you love me...