All at Once, I get a little Clumsy.

"And all at once the crowd begins to sing, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. Maybe you want her, maybe you need her, maybe you've started to compare to someone not there..." -All At Once, The Fray

It happens, all at once. All these things and thoughts just start swirling. People, males in particular, just start crawling out of the woodwork. It's like they just know that I'm going through doubts and insecurities so they decide to like...feast on it. I've gotten the "please take me back, I miss you so much. I promise I've changed and I know I treated you horribly and was a total douche but I really miss you." I've also gotten the "you know I'm so awesome and you know you miss me. You know you want to hang out with me." Really dude. You think that's working? It's just irritating and frustrating. Stupid boys.

Sidenote. Well ok, I guess it's not really a sidenote because it's completely unrelated to the first thought. Kids seem to be a lot .... smarter when it comes to their faith now compared to when I was in high school. I'm truly impressed with these kids. They're debating theological things that I don't even debate. These kids are smarter than me, not that it's really that hard to do sometimes. I guess I'm just impressed.

I'm ending this with lyrics that basically describes my current state and the state I've been in the past few days....

Clumsy - Chris Rice

You think I’d have it down by now
Been practicin’ for thirty years
I should have walked a thousand miles
So what am I still doin’ here
Reaching out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit
I slip and fall and I knock my halo loose
Somebody tell me what’s a boy supposed to do?

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah

I’m gonna get it right this time
I’ll be strong and I’ll make You proud
I’ve prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down again
Then You remind me You made me from the dust
And I can never, no never, be good enough
And that You’re not gonna let that come between us

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah

From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it
My only hope is to fall on Jesus

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah