First thing on my mind is a dream. My "dream life" if you will. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that I love country music. In loving country music I've also fallen in love with the small town, simple, country life. I would love to live down in a small town in Tennessee. Possibly someday buy a farm or have some land, back porch swing where the gentle breeze blows through my hair as I share the moment with my down home southern man. This is when I think that country music has kind of poisoned me. The southern man that I fantasize over is the one that's describe in any country song. Take Guys Like Me by Eric Church for example. He's a hardworking man, a little rough around the edges and would never take his woman for granted. Another good one that makes me swoon that's a little more recent. Easton Corbin's A Little More Country Than That is amazing. He describes that small town life I would love to have. The dirt road, the fishing, the old ratty hat that's always on my man's head, the honesty and the love. These are all things I dream of having someday. The man that would never take me for granted. The one that's thankful for all the things I do for him. The guy that will sit with me on the back porch someday and watch the sun set with the comfortable silence hanging in the air as the slightest breeze carries the summer smells of honeysuckle and jasmine in the night air. Yeah, this is my dream. Forget the big cities with their noise. Give me cornfields and Friday night football games. If only if only...
This brings me to my second thought. How many people actually end up with their "dream" person? I mean let's be realistic here...you kind of can't help who you fall for. What if I fall for someone who wants to move to New York City or LA? Am I just going to not even give them a chance because we don't share the same country living mentality? I mean it's not that I hate the city. I could live the city. I've lived in a city my entire life. I mean Toledo is no thriving metropolis but it's still a city none the less. It just makes me think. There are all those people that say when they met "THE ONE" they just knew. What the heck does that even mean? I truly don't think I'll be one of those people that "just knows". I don't trust my thoughts anymore. I thought I knew before...I was wrong. I thought I knew the time before that too...what do you know, I was wrong. I'm like the girl that cried husband. It's not like I'm in a huge rush or hurry to scoot down the aisle. Yeah I'd like to be married someday and spit out a few babies...maybe have a dog and a hamster. You know...the American dream. In order to get to that dream though I need to kind of pa ruse the pickings a little bit. I've found one I like but like I stated earlier. I have a really hard time trusting myself these days. Things haven't gone as smoothly as I would have liked. I find myself praying about it a lot and just asking God what's going on. Is he trying to get my attention by throwing up all these road blocks? Is he trying to tell me to run the other direction and not look back? Or is he trying to tell me to just mellow out, shift it in to neutral and just cruise? The more I ask the more silent He seems to be on the matter. It makes me question though if He's whispered his answer to me and I just haven't heard him. I have a tendency to talk too loud and shout while God's trying to tell me something. I'm not very good and just shutting up and listening. I'm a work in progress. Don't mind me...I'll hopefully get it eventually.
God, I want to be ready for your whisper. I pray that I'll hear you when you call and that either way I'll trust your good and perfect will for my life. At the end of the day, you'll never leave me and I don't need anything else but you. Everything else you give me is just a blessing and I appreciate everything and everyone you've blessed me with. I pray that I'll be receptive to what it is you have to say Lord. Open my eyes, my heart, and my ears to your voice.
