Change...

Why is it that one little word is so hard to do? As humans I feel like we get stuck into our own mindsets, ruts, or habits and its nearly impossible to break through it on your own. I've got my own bad habits to break and I got into a conversation with one of my best friends about them tonight. I have to say I don't like talking about them. I feel like an idiot and incredibly stupid for even admitting to them. Even though I know that its...well stupid I still let it bother me. For some reason, other people's opinions are important to me...its juvenile I realize, but it's true. So after this conversation, I basically feel like crap. I decided to come back to my room and take a peak in my devotional book at the one I was supposed to do last night. The passage was based out of Matthew 6 and it talked about worry; about worrying what you'll eat, wear...etc. Jesus doesn't want competition and he's number one above all else. When you start placing material possessions ahead of him, you're making him less of a priority. So as I'm reading this I'm like ok I don't really see how this applies to my current situation and then I had to choke back the words I hate saying...Nate's right. As much as I hate to tell him that, he kind of is. Who really cares what other people think, their opinions don't matter. Is what they think true? No, well there you go...etc. (He said many more things...all along the same line) As annoying as it is, and I don't want to admit it but he's kind of right. God's opinion is the only one that matters...Now here I am, trying to figure out what to do. Just because I know God's opinion is the only one that matters it doesn't make it any easier to forget about everyone else. Old habits die hard....which brings me back to why is change so hard? I guess all I can do is take little baby steps. It kind of reminds me of a clip in A Bug's Life. Stick with me here...cause it may be a little bit of a stretch. In the begining of the movie you see all the little ants stuck in their daily routines collecting their food for the grasshoppers when the leaf floats down and cuts off the ant from the rest of the line. He results in panic. "I'M LOST" While he's panicing, the older ant comes and tells him to focus on him. "Don't look away from my eyes...don't look away" and while he's concentrating on the older ant he's taking little baby steps around the leaf and finds the line again. Now like I said, it's a little bit of a stretch, but I feel like that's what happens with change for me. I'll be in my routine, doing what I do every day, following what everyone else does and living life how I want to then a leaf falls and I'm utterly lost. I don't know what to do and I'm just standing there with shaky knees. That's when God comes to my rescue. Don't look away from Him and the little baby steps you're taking turn into a different path back to life. Now in the movie the ant in the end looks away and does his own thing again and thats typically what I do...but what happens when another leaf falls? I'm back inthe same position. I think by never taking your eyes off God, each baby step of change will turn into a new habit, but instead of being bad, it'll be good. I guess I just rambled a little bit...but that's basically what's been on my mind as of late.