This has to quite possible be the worst weekend ever! For some reason though, I don't really want to complain. I just want to explain.
Friday was one of those days that I just felt like a nothing. An insignificant speck. To make matters worse, I just felt...off. Things felt off. It was hard to explain, but I was ready to take a trip back home. Well I had a couple classes and chapel to make it through first. World Changers wasn't bad. It was one of those get-to-know-your-class classes. Then I headed to chapel. Thats where I just got emotional. I was upset about something, but I couldn't exactly figure out what it was, and the more people tried to pry it open, the more emotional I got. Well Nate tried, and I just started crying. Well I then made it to American Ed. after and I was just fine. I came back to my room, and packed up to head home. We left shortly after Nate's class and for some reason just being around him made me clam up. I just didn't want to talk to him. Everytime he would ask what was wrong, I would just start crying. I didn't understand. Well not until later that night that is. I managed to get my mouth moving and we started talking and I was just fine. Fast forward to later that night...things still were off and the more we started talking about it the more we saw that God was telling us to take a step back and instead of focusing on each other, to focus on Him. So that's what we did. Took a step back and wait on His perfect timing. I'm not going to lie, it is a little frusterating, but I have to trust that God will bring everything together in His time.
Saturday was not much better. My reasoning for going back home was to take my Praxis I exams, that I probably won't need. However, the tests were paid for so I figured I would take them. But oh wait...what's this? SNOW! We had tons of snow and it just kept falling and falling. I drive a Ford Focus. A very small, compact car. Not really made for driving through 8 inches of snow. Well I got to UT in time to take my first hour test. I took it and then made my way back home through the snow and the slush to take a break and eat something. One my way home I almost died, three times. Remember how I said I have a small, compact car? Remember how I said it's not made to drive in the snow? Yeah, so after almost sliding into oncoming traffic and two different forms of poles, I just wanted to get home and stay there. Well I got home, not wanting to return to the horrible roads and what does my mom say? "You're going back and you're taking that test. No arguements." So what do I do you ask? Grab my cell phone and crawl into bed sobbing. I called Nate and told him how awful it is that I have to take my test and just became this whiny little baby, but I couldn't stop. I just kept crying. Well, it got to the point where I had to get out of bed and make the awful trek back to school. I got there safely, took my last section, and headed back home to pack up to leave for school. Well, to make a long story short, we ended up staying at my house another night. The roads were awful, and from Angola to Marion it was LOTS of ice.
Sunday started out better than the other days had. We woke up at 6:30, then I decided that sleep would be a better option then getting up. We ended up leaving Toledo around 9 and the roads weren't too bad. The car ride was enjoyable, even with all that's going on I can't help but enjoy his company. He's my best friend. Even when he's the most annoying creature on the planet I can't help but love him. So you're asking, why was Sunday adding to your worst weekend ever? I come back, get all my stuff put away in my room and sit down to check my school email account to find that my favorite person on the whole entire campus. My confidant here, has decided to take the semester off because of medical needs. Now I understand that they're medical needs, she didn't exactly have a say in the matter but never the less, my emotions made a quick appearance again. I'm severely bummed. I honestly and truely am. I don't know what is going on or what God is trying to do here. I just know he's trying REALLY REALLY hard to get my attention. He's taken away the distractions. The potential "boyfriend/girlfriend" title, the person to complain to, and the emotions have been placed right on my sleeve where they are hard to ignore. All I can say is God, I'm listening. You're humbling me. Showing me that I can't do this without you. I'm here and I'm listening.
