Do you like to ramble?

...apparently I sure do.

So I'm pretty sure I've just become a lunatic. Straight up crazy. My emotions are a swing pendulum. One second I'm happy as can be, the next I'm freaking out because someone drank my water. Isn't it lovely? NO.

I'm so frusterated right now. I'm frusterated with myself for being so stupid. It's so easy to get caught up in yourself...atleast it is for me. What I want, what I think should happen...I think you get the picture. What happens when it turns out...its not about what YOU think. Oh! I know this one!! You get humbled, real fast. It's not fun...it's not pretty...and for the stubborn, insecure, and slightly neurotic person like I am, it takes a while. No matter how many times I say, ok I'm going to do it this time. I'm really going to listen to God and what He wants for me, somehow it always turns into what I want. I'm so frusterated with it and with myself. How did I get this way? I don't remember always being like this? Or maybe I've always been this way and just never cared enough to try and change. Well these days its getting to the point where I have to make life altering decisions. Decisions that not only affect my life, but could potentially hurt someone I care about. Life is frusterating. I realize everything happens for a reason. I know this. I just don't know how to handle it. I'm not used to this. God, I'm miserable. I've done a horrible job trying to piece my life together. You are the one that has control God. Take my life and use it for your glory and honor and as painful as it is, continue to humble me God. My pride and selfishness keep getting in the way. Humble me God...