So much from a break?

Well spring break is here! I have to say though...I'm having a pretty miserable time so far...Things just aren't going as well as I would like. Don't get me wrong..there are definately highlights and good things that have happened...but God I don't know what you're trying to do in other situations. I'm afraid he's never going to forgive me for the hurt I've caused him but God I shouldn't worry about that. That's between the two of you right? I know you can change his heart God, I'm sorry I'm having such a hard time trusting you...its just going to be one of those weeks. I can already tell and I can already feel it...I'm just so confused and flustered right now! I don't want to let you down, and I don't want things to go back to the way that they were. You're always in control...show me what you want me to do....